The [informal] Will
**Inspired/stolen from @setsurenka
Welcome to my informal, living will.
In the case that I die / become incapacitated unexpectedly, my last wishes are publicly posted here, for my family & close friends to carry them out.
• NOT-SO-CERTAIN DEATH:
•Cremate me in a jar that says “I’M WATCHING YOU” because I don’t like the idea of rotting underground. & if I were to ever return as a zombie one day, I’d probably have too much fun trolling the shit out of you all. Just sayin’.
THE EXCEPTION: If there is any speculation at all concerning manner of death (like murder, possibly-staged “suicide,” questionable “accidents,” — even if the case is closed), bury me just in case I need to be brought back up to answer some questions for the medical examiner. Choose a simple metal casket, in a standard concrete vault, & skip the body viewing — that’ll save you an average of $5800.
• log in as me on facebook & tumblr & post this:
• Post a last post on my tumblr for me that says: “The End.”
• If anyone who cares chooses to erect a memorial stone, i request that the epitaph read “No Comment.”
• you may choose to drink / smoke / both in my memory, as long as you have a Disney movie marathon while you’re tipsy and/or high as a muthabitch.